Psychological Help

STUDYING PSYCHOLOGY IN INDIA

Psychology is the science of human and animal behavior, including the application of the science to human problems.

Psychologists gather information through controlled laboratory experiments, personality, performance, aptitude and intelligence tests; observation, interviews and questionnaires, clinical studies and surveys. In addition to the variety of work settings, psychologists specialize in many different areas.
To become a psychologist one must have a doctoral degree in psychology (PhD, PsyD, or, sometimes, an EdD) because the nature of the work that psychologists do requires much more extensive education and training.

*Study psychology:

Many schools provide psychology in +2. Even if your school doesn’t offer the subject, fret not, you can still take psychology in college.
Cut of percentage in colleges is normally 80% and above.

Courses in Psychology – BA (Hon) Psychology/ Applied Psychology (India)
If your percentage is low you can still opt for BA Pass/ Program with psychology as one of the subject. And you can later go for MA Psychology. There is an entrance test and the eligibility criteria for MA have been 55% marks in aggregate and 60% marks in psychology for BA (P) with Psychology and 50% marks for BA (Hon) in Psychology.The selection is based on merit and the number of seats available.

*Skills required:

Interest in human behavior, a patient listener, empathy, interest in studying science, ability to identify problem, sound judgments, organizing ideas, writing reports, compiling and evaluating data, strong written and verbal communication, creativity, perceptiveness

*Avenues:

• Psychology
o Teaching and Research
o Applied Work
-Clinical Psychology
-Counseling Psychology
-Forensic Psychology
-Health Psychology
-Industrial/Organizational Psychology
-Sports Psychology
• Education
o Agency/Community Counseling
o Educational Psychology
o School Counseling
o School Psychology
• Social Work
• Art Therapy
• Music Therapy

*Subjects/ Topics:

1 History
2 Major nineteenth and twentieth century schools of thought
3 Modern psychology
3.1 Cognitive psychology
3.2 Clinical and counseling psychology
3.3 Developmental and educational psychology
3.4 Forensic psychology
3.5 Health psychology
3.6 Industrial and organizational psychology
3.7 Neuropsychology
3.8 Social psychology
4 Personality
5 Guidance and counseling
6 Vocational Psychology
7 Ecology Psychology
8 Population Psychology
9 Statistical Psychology
10 Research Methods
11 Consumer psychology
12 Comparative psychology
13 Psychology and Law
14 Developmental Psychology
15 Practical

*Follow your dream:

Choose a program that offers the level of education you want (master’s, doctorate), that is compatible with your orientation (scientific, practical; behavioral, cognitive, etc.;), and that offers the coursework and training to prepare you to do what you want to do (individual, family, group therapy; testing; working with adults, children, etc.).

Get the degree that meets your needs.

There are so many areas in psychology and related fields for you. You can be a school counselor, human resources officer, public relation officer, advertising manager, animal trainer, alcohol and drug abuse counselor, etc.

Clinical Psychologist – a graduate in psychology who has successfully undergone a post graduate training course in clinical psychology.They concern themselves with mental health programmes ranging from normal psychological crisis to extreme conditions. They work in psychiatric hospitals and clinics, with patients in the community and even in old people’s homes, children’s homes and remand centers.

Counselor – a person who performs counseling. He/she helps people to overcome some of the problem of the client. Counseling is meant for milder problems/ crises, like developmental or adjustment problems of a normal person.
When there are major problems then a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist is consulted.

Psychiatrist – A medical graduate (MBBS) who has successfully undergone a postgraduate course (of 2 to 3 year) in psychiatry.

Psychiatric Social Worker – A graduate in sociology who has successfully undergone a post graduate training course of 2 year in social case work.

Psychiatric Nurse – a nurse who has received special training in the care and management of psychiatric patients.

Psychotherapist – a person with special training in psychotherapy. (Medical graduation is not must)

Occupational therapist – a graduate who is trained in observing and treating the patients through crafts and recreational activities.

Research psychologists investigate the physical, cognitive, emotional or social aspects of human behavior.

Applied Psychologists- are involved in counseling, training programs, market research, mental health services in hospitals, clinics, or private settings.

Counseling psychologists- help people on how to deal with problems of every day living – personal, social, educational or vocational.

Developmental psychologists- study the patterns and causes of behavioral change from infancy to adulthood.

Educational psychologists- design, develop and evaluate educational programs. They deal with learning, behavior and emotional problems as well as with handicapped children.

Experimental psychologists- conduct experimental research on various aspects of human behavior.

Industrial, organizational and marketing psychologists- apply psychological principles to personnel administration, management and marketing problems.

Occupational psychologists- advise companies on improving training, job satisfaction and productivity. They specialize in industrial relations, vocational guidance and counseling, selection and recruitment, organizational structure, worker productivity, job satisfaction, consumer behavior, personnel training and development and the interaction between humans and machines.

Consumer psychologists- are concerned with consumer reactions to products or services. Market research requires their evaluation to assess consumer preferences.

Psychometrics- study methods and techniques used to acquire and evaluate psychological data.

Social psychologists- study group behavior, leadership, attitudes and interpersonal perception.

Cognitive psychologists- study the brain’s role in memory, thinking and perceptions and involve themselves with research related to artificial intelligence.

Neuro psychologists -study the relation between human physical systems and behavior. These psychologists work in stroke and head injury programs, oncology programs, and medical practices specializing in neurology.

Criminology and legal psychologists- work in prisons, juvenile centers and special hospitals. They provide a range of rehabilitative programmes through individual as well as group ther

GENERAL PSYCHOLOGY

1. Psychology means the study of the soul on account of its derivation from the Greek words, psyche (soul) and logos (a rational course of study).
2. The first man to define psychology as the science of behavior was an English psychologist, William Mc Doughal.
3. The term mental process is often used to refer the process like thinking, remembering, perceiving and learning which involve internal mental activities.
4. Wilhelm Wundt at the University of Leipzig in Germany established the first psychological laboratory in 1879.
5. The word behavior includes anything a person or animal does that can be observed in some way. Behavior is the total response that man or animal makes to the situation in life with which either is confronted.
6. General psychology is concerned with the study of basic characteristics of behavior in all living organisms like learning, remembering, thinking, motivation, etc. and the laws governing them. Understanding these processes enables us to understand other fields of psychology.
7. In applied psychology the theory generated or principles discussed through pure psychology finds its practical shape.
8. Cognitive psychology deals with how individuals acquire, store, transform, use and communicate information.
9. Environmental psychology focuses on the interaction between the physical world and the human behavior.
10. Physiological psychology is concerned with the interrelationships of the nervous system, receptors, and endocrine glands, and of behavior and the mental processes.

INDIAN PSYCHOLOGY

1. The first psychology department in India was established in 1916 at Calcutta University.
2. Thinking about psychological problems and issues has a rich tradition in various system of Indian thought.
3. Indian view emphasizes the primary role of “chitt” as mind. Indian traditional psychologist emanates from two Indian perspectives on consciousness – Yoga and Vedanta.
4. Yoga is dualistic and has been selected for study because Yoga of Patanjali emphasizes psychological issue so much that it may be considered more a psychological theory than a system of philosophy.
5. Yoga is a system of exercises practiced as part of the Hindu discipline to promote control of the body and mind.
6. Vedanta is the most popular and dominant school of Indian thought. Its concept has been derived from the discourses in Upanishads.
7. The Yogic view of consciousness emphasizes processional aspect (Vriti) while Vedantic emphasizes the state of consciousness – wakefulness (jagriti), dream (swapna), deep sleep (susupta), and trance (Samadhi).
8. The Indian notion of self encompasses the physical, social, mental, as well as spiritual aspects of human existence.
9. The most important distinction between the Indian and western views on self is the way the boundary is drawn between self and environment.
10. In the western mind, the boundaries appear to be relatively fixed. In Indian self boundaries are constantly shifting. Thus, in case of Indian self, the self sometimes expand to fuse with cosmos but at the next moment it completely withdraws itself from it.

PHYSIOLOGICAL PSYCHOLOGY

1. Neuron is the basic unit of the nervous system.
2. The brain stem is the center for basic support, breathing, heart beat, walking and sleeping.
3. A nerve is a bundle of elongated axon that belongs to hundreds or thousands of neurons.
4. The pons region that connects to the cerebellum and is involved in dreaming and walking..
5. The cerebellum regulates higher levels of cognitive and emotional functions.
6. Limbic system helps in maintaining internal homeostasis by regulating body temperature, blood pressure and blood sugar level.

Special Education is commonly known as education of physically or mentally impaired children whose needs cannot be met in an ordinary classroom.

Disability, Impairment, and Handicap:

Disability is the condition of being unable to perform as a consequence of physical or mental unfitness. The International labor organization defines it as “any activity restriction that prevents an individual from getting a job”.

Handicap is the condition of being unable to perform as a consequence of physical or mental unfitness. This word is now substituted with impairment. This word is being discarded.

Impairment refers to any reduction in physical, sensory or physiological function. If the impairment interferes with the process of education or work, it becomes disability.

Some major impairment –
1. Visual impairment
2. Hearing impairment
3. Locomotors problems
4. Mental retardation
5. Learning disability
6. Autism
7. Cerebral palsy
8. Multiple disabilities

Varieties of settings for imparting education are there.
1. Home-based education – trained professionals go to the home and teach basic survival skills, activities of daily living, or do parental counseling
2. Special class – a class in an ordinary school where children with special needs are taught as in special schools.
3. Special school – educate the children with disability using trained teachers and special equipments.
4. Itinerant teacher model – an itinerant teacher covers around eight schools. The frequency of visit depends on the distance and transport facility. The traveling teacher is usually used in those areas where the population of children with special needs is widely scattered. The function of the itinerant teacher include understanding the problems of child with disability, using appropriate method to teach, to assist child perform activities, and to advise the class teacher on the use of those practices that could be used with all children.
5. Resource room model – a room is equipped with some basic appliances needed for educating usually one category children. There the child is provided remedial tutoring or extra assistance that the child needs.
6. Dual teaching – here the teacher teaches the same subject after the school hour in great depth to the children with special needs, giving them individual attention.
7. Consultant model – the consultant teacher works with a regular teacher, coordinates comprehensive services for the child.
8. Para-Teachers –a kind of semi trained assistant teacher who meet the special needs of the child by repetitive assistance.
9. Alternative schools – used for children who cannot make it to the formal school system.
10. Inclusive schools – which educates all students in the mainstream, irrespective of their learning or physical difficulties.

SPSS Software
In early days of computing, the late 1940s and early 1950s, researchers wrote their own statistical programes. Commertial software for statistical work eventually appeared. BMDP, SAS, and SPSS all trace their ancestry back to the days when the computers were monster sized. Vastly improved , these packages are now available on diffrent versions and face stiff competition from dozens of newcomers, such as ABstat, FASTAT, Microstat, Minitab, P-Stat, Statistix, and SYSTAT.

Statistical Package for the Social Sciences (SPSS)
A software to analyze a large volume of social science data.

Statistics is a branch of applied mathematics concerned with the collection and interpretation of quantitative data and the use of probability theory to estimate population parameters.
Social science is the branch of science that studies society and the relationships of individual within a society.
Psychological test is the standerdized instrument consisting a large number of items designed to measure objectively one or more aspects of a total personality by means of samples of verbal or non verbal responses, or by means of other behavior. It is also defined as a test which has number of items, where each item is representing a behavioral situation to which a behavior response is given, which is then quantified. Mental testing is done to find out individual differences. For the purpose of comparison quantification is very important.

Formulas work well with small batches of data, but for information collected for a research project grows volumnous. The statistical analysis of a large data set is practical only if accumulated at high speed. Researchers thus welcome computers, for manipulating great quantities of information.What a computor does is specified by software, a programe of instructions.

Over 82 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot to try to prove a point. You can conclude just about anything if you’re not careful with your data and with your calculations. SPSS watches the performance of the calculations
for you, but the raw data, and which calculations should be performed, is up to you.

At Stanford University in the late 1960s, Norman H. Nie, C. Hadlai (Tex) Hull, and Dale H. Bent developed the original software system named Statistical Package for the Social Sciences (SPSS).

There are four ways to talk to SPSS, which one is best depends on the task to be performed and which interface you prefer.
1.GUI (graphic user interface)
2.Syntax
3.Python
4.Scripts

GUI is a fill-in-the-blanks approach to statistical analysis that guides you through the process of making choices and
selecting values. The advantage of the GUI approach is that, at each step, SPSS will make sure that you enter everything necessary before proceeding to the next step.

Syntax This is the internal language used to command actions from SPSS. It is often referred to as the command language.

Python is a general-purpose language that has a collection of SPSS modules written for it, making it possible to write programs that work inside SPSS. It can be run with the Syntax language to command SPSS to perform statistical functions. One advantage of using Python is the fact that it is a modern language and gives you the power and convenience that come with languages today, including the ability to construct a more readable program.

Script:The items that SPSS calls scripts are actually programs written in BASIC. This language is simple and many people are familiar with it. Also, a BASIC program can be written as an auto script — a script that
executes automatically when SPSS produces certain output.

SPSS works with numbers. A number is assigned to each of the possible answers, and these numbers are fed through the statistical process. SPSS uses the numbers, not the words, so be careful about keeping all your words and numbers straight.

FUNDAMENTAL MECHANICS
#Always begin by defining a set of variables, then you enter data for the variables to create a number of cases.
#After your data is entered into SPSS — your cases are all defined by values stored in the variables — you can run an analysis. To run an analysis, you select the one you want to run from the menu, select appropriate variables, and click the OK button.
#You can instruct SPSS to draw graphs and charts the same way you instruct it to do an analysis.
#SPSS require that you select a sufficient number of variables to produce output, it also requires that you choose the right kinds of variables.
#All output from SPSS goes to the same place — a dialog box named SPSS Viewer. It opens to display the results of whatever you’ve done.

Our input to machine must include both the data and commands specifying the operations that the machine is to perform on the data.
Your most valuable possession is your data. Make sure you make backup copies of your data. Back up your data to memory that does not live in the same building with the computer you are using.

This is just an introduction of SPSS to the beginners.You can dive as deep as you want.

Humans can see into the future, says a cognitive scientist. It’s nothing like the alleged predictive powers of Nostradamus, but we do get a glimpse of events one-tenth of a second before they occur.

And the mechanism behind that can also explain why we are tricked by optical illusions.

Researcher Mark Changizi of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in New York says it starts with a neural lag that most everyone experiences while awake. When light hits your retina, about one-tenth of a second goes by before the brain translates the signal into a visual perception of the world.

Scientists already knew about the lag, yet they have debated over exactly how we compensate, with one school of thought proposing our motor system somehow modifies our movements to offset the delay.

Changizi now says it’s our visual system that has evolved to compensate for neural delays, generating images of what will occur one-tenth of a second into the future. That foresight keeps our view of the world in the present. It gives you enough heads up to catch a fly ball (instead of getting socked in the face) and maneuver smoothly through a crowd. His research on this topic is detailed in the May/June issue of the journal Cognitive Science,

Explaining illusions

That same seer ability can explain a range of optical illusions, Changizi found.

“Illusions occur when our brains attempt to perceive the future, and those perceptions don’t match reality,” Changizi said.

Here’s how the foresight theory could explain the most common visual illusions — geometric illusions that involve shapes: Something called the Hering illusion, for instance, looks like bike spokes around a central point, with vertical lines on either side of this central, so-called vanishing point. The illusion tricks us into thinking we are moving forward, and thus, switches on our future-seeing abilities. Since we aren’t actually moving and the figure is static, we misperceive the straight lines as curved ones.

“Evolution has seen to it that geometric drawings like this elicit in us premonitions of the near future,” Changizi said. “The converging lines toward a vanishing point (the spokes) are cues that trick our brains into thinking we are moving forward — as we would in the real world, where the door frame (a pair of vertical lines) seems to bow out as we move through it — and we try to perceive what that world will look like in the next instant.”

Grand unified theory

In real life, when you are moving forward, it’s not just the shape of objects that changes, he explained. Other variables, such as the angular size (how much of your visual field the object takes up), speed and contrast between the object and background, will also change.

For instance, if two objects are about the same distance in front of you, and you move toward one of the objects, that object will speed up more in the next moment, appear larger, have lower contrast (because something that is moving faster gets more blurred), and literally get nearer to you compared with the other object.

Changizi realized the same future-seeing process could explain several other types of illusions. In what he refers to as a “grand unified theory,” Changizi organized 50 kinds of illusions into a matrix of 28 categories. The results can successfully predict how certain variables, such as proximity to the central point or size, will be perceived.

Changizi says that finding a theory that works for so many different classes of illusions is “a theorist’s dream.”

Most other ideas put forth to explain illusions have explained one or just a few types, he said.
The theory is “a big new player in the debate about the origins of illusions,” Changizi told LiveScience. “All I’m hoping for is that it becomes a giant gorilla on the block that can take some punches.”

By Jeanna Bryner, Senior Writer

I read this article somewhere wanted to share it along with my views on the same:

Depression and Creativity
By Wayne J. Cosshall

Summary – Being creative is supposed to be one of the greatest things
in the world. But it is my observation that there is a down side that
is often there, under the surface, depression.

(Usual warning – this article contains personal experience and is no
substitute for professional advice).

If you are a photographer or digital artist you probably think of
yourself as creative. Creativity is a great joy, being able to pull
something wonderful, beautiful or even disturbing out of stimulation
that others do not see. The classic stereotypes of creative people
include being `different’, sometimes self-centered, a bit `floaty or
not nailed down, etc. But what can also go with creativity is a
tendency to depression.

Dictionary definitions of depression define it as severe sadness and
feeling dejected. It covers a broad range from being flat or sad for
an extended period of time through to deep depression where people
can’t get out of bed, feel no enthusiasm at all for pretty much
anything and can lead to suicidal thoughts, etc.

Depression manifests itself in many ways for creative people. Beyond
the severe end, which is completely debilitating to all aspects of
their lives, it is my observation that creative people are prone to
many `low level’ forms. This can be a general sadness when the person
is not working on a creative process. I know my wife, a painter, is
generally a much happier person when she is working on a series than
when she is not. It can also work the other way around. It is
inevitable that a creative person will have creative low periods,
either where they are ready to change a form they have been doing for
some time but have not yet worked out the new approach or perhaps
they are working through technical problems. These normal problems
can become quite a heavy weight for a creative person, driving them
to deeper negative feelings than are warranted from a cool look at
the situation. So a natural flat period can lead to thoughts of
having `lost it’, of the work being no good and then the spiral has
begun.

The spiral of depression is a real phenomenon, where a small issue
becomes bigger and bigger, in the mind of the creative person. So
computer problems come to dominate your thinking, stopping you from
doing, or enjoying, anything else until it is resolved. Or a
rejection from a gallery puts you in a bad mood for a whole week,
affecting your relationships with those around you. I think you get
the idea.

Now no two creative people are alike, not only in the degree to which
they tend to get depressed but also in what triggers it. I, for
example, am badly affected by computer issues and anything that hits
on the finances, such as yet another disappointment from some
organization I am working with, such as my art and photography
teaching, when it impacts on the bottom line, dollars. These things
don’t hit my wife so hard (well she avoids the computer entirely for
art to avoid frustration . She, on the other hand, can get very
down when a technical issue, such as getting hold of the right
materials or figuring out how to use them, holds her up from
creating. This does not bother me, seeing it as a puzzle to solve
(maybe it is a guy thing .

How we behave when depressed also differs enormously. Some get very
short fused. I tend to do several things: dive for comfort food, hide
from the world (not answering emails, the phone, etc) and want to
sleep a lot. It usually doesn’t stop me getting some things done, but
my productivity is far less than when I am ok. Others shut up shop
entirely. And of course there are those who are severely hit, feeling
suicidal, or wanting to self-harm. Thankfully I do not have anyone in
my circle of creative friends and loved ones who does that.

Depression in creative types is far more common in those who have not
yet found their creative outlet. I see this in the creativity
counseling I do. Such people have all this creative energy in them
but no effective outlet. We often think of depression as a lack of
energy, but in such people the problem is too much energy and no
outlet, so it bubbles away, triggering negative thinking, self-
sabotaging behaviors thought overload, etc.

One needs not to be scared to seek professional advice. If you have a
good general practitioner you can talk to (if not, change), talk it
out with them. Go see a counselor or psychologist. In extreme cases a
psychiatrist can be a great idea. Medication can sometimes help. I’ve
taken anti-depressants once in my life, following the death of my
second wife. For about two weeks they really helped me through a
tough time and then I found I worked better off them. I then
substituted exercise (the natural endorphins you can get with heavy
exercise are a great remedy). It is, I believe, important to get to
the bottom of what is going on, especially if depression is a
recurring issue in your life. Sometimes there can be a chemical
imbalance, sometimes it is an accumulation of life experiences, a
reaction to past stress, abuse or trauma or a whole range of other
things. Even just having someone to talk to who is not emotionally
involved can be a huge benefit. Sharing with friends or family can
also be great.

Sometimes the most important thing with depression (and many other
things) is to realize that you are not alone. Various studies that
have been in the local press here in Australia mention that anywhere
from one in eight up to 30% of people will experience depression at
some time in their lives. Personally I think it is higher than that,
it is just that some people have better skills at dealing with it
internally (or denying or hiding it) and so no one else ever knows.

Beyond the knowledge that you are not alone, if you are prone to
recurrent depression, you need to find ways to live with it or fix
it. Professional advice is a key here, as they can offer strategies
or medication. Everyone will be different and so your solution may be
very different to anyone else’s. I find it useful to have several
different creative projects on the go at once, so if I am blocked in
one I still have something else to do that I can feel positive about.
Likewise I also have several non-photographic or art projects that I
can do if I need a complete break. There are also always books,
magazines and journals around so that if I just want to chill out for
awhile I can do so in a way that is uplifting rather than pulling me
down. Also being me, I have a range of spiritual practices that I
undertake, such as meditation, that greatly help me to stay positive.
Sometimes I will channel what I would call negative energy that is
building up into an art piece, exorcising it from me into the paper.
A big assist is having a partner to keep you grounded and to pull you
up when you need it.

And, of course, it can also be ok to feel blue. We are often
convinced we have to be upbeat and happy all the time. Yet sometimes
life can be a real shit. Bad things happen. Unfair things happen.
Things go wrong. People can be horrible, selfish and uncaring.
Sometimes it is, in fact, healthy to acknowledge this, feel the
feelings for a while and then move on. I know I appreciate the great
times better for occasionally knowing the not so great and rather
than brushing it away, actually feeling it. And sometimes, great art
comes out of being depressed.

Like everything to do with people, nothing is black and white. It is
rich and complex and all part of being human. Know thyself, and find
ways to work with yourself.

MY VIEWS ON IT:
It was wonderful reading this interesting article or research study. So I liked sharing it hope readers would like it too.
As Creativity means itself creating something novel, different from
the rest, an individual tends to go away the regular o normal ways
of thinking and problem solvin which the majority is involved in
everyday life.

The more recurrent and habitual it becomes to creat something
different an individual is simultaneously pushed into an isolated
world where there may also exist an urge to relate to the normal
real social world and one may feel satisfied and happy to be
creative ony if one’s work is appreciated or liked. Ironically
creativity varies between the positives and negatives of human life.

Being a social animal human beings have a need for belongingness,
affection and like being liked which is caused due to some mutual
understanding, like mindedness and association in some or the other
way, if this need is not fulfilled definitely social rejection or
neglection makes an individual experience negative emotions hence
depression.

I would conclude it this way- Being Creative is not itself a
contentment but contentment comes from the realization of the same
by feedback from others interms of appreciation or criticism and
just the understanding of the same novel thought as one realy
thought while creating it.

ONLY A CREATIVE MIND KNOWS WHAT IT CREATES!

Phew! But thats how I understood it the link between Depression and
Creativity (Being a Masters in Psychology )

PREVENT AIDS
University of Melbourne carried out a study which came up with a new immune treatment that may control AIDS. Test on animals showed that the treatment controlled the infection, although it does not cure it, and human trails are planned. The treatment is called OPAL (Overlapping Peptide pulsed Auto logous Cells). Treatment involves mixing the patient’s own blood cells with tiny bits of protein from the virus. These cells are then re-infused into the patient. The whole viral sequence is taken and a series of overlapping peptides is made based on it. These trigger the body’s immune cells, the T-cells, to recognize the presence of the virus like HIV much more clearly – and to attack it more effectively, reducing the levels of the virus and preventing the destruction of the immune system.

We don’t get all that we want in our life; some we get while certain others we don’t. Life is full of such situation. In order to deal with them effectively, you must take greater responsibility for your life and the outcomes.
Confront the negative aspect that seems to be keeping you down. This is especially true when dealing with relationships. In a relationship or even in its breakup, there are so many emotion and feelings that one deals with.
There could be many reasons for the sad feeling in a relationship. Some of them are discussed here to help you figure out what is going wrong.

Envy/ jealousy – we often tend to feel that the other person is not giving much time to pamper us and thus don’t pay attention to the other person’s need. This behavior is self – defeating in itself. Due to the jealousy we do not remember to rejoice the success and accomplishments of the partner and hence miss the time one could spend together and happiness that they could share.

Take out time – for a good relationship you are required to have your priorities clear, don’t hurry up to click. At the initial stage itself, take out time to understand each others emotions and decide on the adjustment to make by both of you.

Taking Responsibility – realize that we can minimize our unhappiness by making personal responsibility and efforts to overcome them. Life isn’t bed of roses so the best thing is not to complain over it and blame others but rather own up to your failures while growing up and learning from it.

Overcoming the obstacles – realize that the unhappiness is caused by some obstacles or gap and the only way to come out of it make a choice to overcome.

Being perfect – It is impossible for any individual to be competent in every endeavor and an individual who feels one must be is doomed to a sense of failure. Stop fretting and instead striving to beat others, simply enjoy the activity itself.

Self esteem – “…Count your night by stars not shadows; count your life by smile not tears.” Have a high self esteem; for that be aware of your good qualities and accomplishments. Don’t show anxious over concern about any problem area, instead work towards correcting them.

Self efficacy – recognize your capacity or power to produce a desired effect. You have the ability to attain any thing that you wish.

Negativism – Characterized by habitual skepticism and a disagreeable tendency to deny or oppose or resist suggestions or commands. It only makes us feel worse. What you focus on, good or bad, are based upon the choices you make.

Be reasonable – Remove the distorted perceptions. Happiness in your life is the result of your own choices. Process information in a way that serves your need. Don’t expect others to change or try to change external factors. The one that can be changed by you is your own self which would in return have an impact on your environment; and you will notice the desirable changes there by positively changing your own self.

Meaningful feelings – follow your heart to seek happiness and put some meaning in your life.

The unhappiness feeling will vanish with your high spirited self and a fulfilling relationship. Change yourself to match the situation you are in and at time change the situation to match your needs. Influencing your life is in your hand.

There are enough cases of drug abuse, family violence, juvenile crime, school truancy that get the parents worried. Teenagers are also known for their need to test their independence and rights. Many parents find that dealing with troubled teens is becoming increasingly challenging in today’s world.

TEEN PROBLEMS -
You need to realize that teens today face huge, life threatening decisions just about ever day. What they face has a lot to do with where they grow up.
# Self Identity: In this phase of life they try on many roles. They have to develop an integrated and coherent sense of self. If they fail to accomplish this, they are trapped in role confusion or sometimes “negative identity” like delinquency.
# Drugs: Kids are not just smoking; they could even have easy access to deadly drugs. It may be a result of experimentation, peer pressure, isolation, feeling helpless, etc
# Sex: On one side various developments during childhood and adolescence are powerful sources of natural interest about sex. On the other the family and education fails to provide necessary information. They get the information from movies, TV, magazines, older kids and sometimes from own experience. Not only are they exposed to it on the television, but they are encouraged by others.
# Depression: Depression is not something that just goes away after some time, but can cause them harm and threaten their lives. There could be many reasons like competitions, peer pressure, bully, unattractiveness, isolation, lack of intimate relationship, parent’s-breakup etc.
# Violence: Aggression may arise from poor sense of self, frustration, fear of fusion in closeness, chronic use of anger as defense, etc. hey see friends with guns at school or after school. They witness huge fights. They hear threats. They see anger and deal with it daily.
# Drop outs – learning problems, low self esteem, failures and some of the students break under the pressure if they don’t get support at the right time.
Teenage problems should be addressed and noticed by their parents first. Teen problems that are at a lower level can be just as deadly. They face lying, cheating, emotional trauma, learning disabilities and parent’s-divorce.

TAKE ACTION –
Parents need to spend time and understand the needs of their children, despite the pressures of modern living. When you realize that teenager is showing difficulty, the first important thing to do is take action; ignoring the problem may make it so that it is too late. Admitting that your past parenting is not currently working is the first step to a possible change.
You may need to seek help from other resources to see what is wrong with your parenting, and how they can change to deal with troubled teen’s problem. Find books, search the Internet, and even ask friends if you are comfortable enough. Asking other parents is a useful exercise, and so is joining parent support groups. Churches and other venues often have such groups. Listening to what other parents are dealing with, and understanding their parenting methods can help you understand your own methods better and thusly help you adjust to your child’s unique needs.

COMMUNICATION –
Communication is a connection allowing access between persons. When dealing with troubled teen, realize that it may be something you are doing is causing your teen’s behavior. Children often resist dialogues with parents. They resent being preached to, talked at, and criticized. You will never be able to understand your teens problems if you don’t communicate well. Listen to them, show understanding and respect, and then take steps to help them solve the problem that they are having. Trust is very important when dealing with teens and therefore should be central to your approach. Keep trying even though it may be frustrating to deal with your teen at times. Talking to your teen treating them like an equal can also be helpful in communication and building trust.

PARENTAL INSTINCT –
If you think that your teen is in problem, or may be using drugs, you must try to help out before anything getting damaged. Do not doubt if the child tells that they wouldn’t do it (taking drug, etc) anymore. Do trust them but don’t let problems go assuming adolescence as a period of inevitable turbulence and disruption.

SEEK HELP –
There are family – therapies and counseling available. It may de your family problems like parent’s breakup or fights that is troubling the child or failure to develop a self identity, role confusion, isolation, depression, learning disabilities, etc that could be helped out. Lack of information on certain issues like sex, unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, contraceptives, safe sex, harms of drug use and abuse, etc could be properly dealt.

We do have teenage problems but this doesn’t mean that one should misguide and mislead that teenage is period of disruption and adolescent sexuality as rampaging, etc. A right kind of attitude and information is required to help those individuals who are really at risk and need help and support.

Why should loving be so hopeless and painful?
Come lets take the responsibility this time to find out an answer to this question,to learn from failures, and have the right approach.

The desperate attempt to seek intimacy and have an Instant relationship leaves you being vulnerable to heartbreak and disappointments.

Relationships with a GAP
Is the guy having an escape plan in the relationship, the first few weeks being fun and in the days that follow next are times when you sit fantasizing?
The reason could be that the relationship is a “fanciful one” or “jiffy one”.
Fanciful relationships are the ones that are based on false assumption or ignorance and end up even before you realize it.
The jiffy relationships are those where you jump into it and expect having fun as well as act clingy. For this, just think for your own sake “Why a man is ever going to immediately think that you are “the one” and think about settling down with you?”

RESISTANCE in the relationship
When you force the other person to change, and act to correct the lifestyle without understanding, without being in agreement with him you force him to tear apart.
These irrational ways of concern would eventually end your relationship leaving you in intense depression or rage.

DESTRUCTIVE relationships
Few women readily take the relationship to the bedroom just after a few dates in a hope to achieve closeness or feeling of belonging, or to make a man ‘come around’ and think she is the one for him end up as exploited as this behavior completely lack any sort of emotional attachment on the guy’s side.
Another type here is where you are with the person who isn’t right for you. He might even be violent, disinterested or two-timing. However, even if you know this, you still can’t seem to leave him. Perhaps you are more afraid of being alone than being in this type of relationship. You think that a man is the answer to your problems or he can give you the answer to your problem.

WHAT TO DO
Have a set of core values and beliefs that guide you in your life.
Prioritize the more important things in life.
Have your identity, and self esteem.
Remember that a guy is capable of going through the emotional stage first so be on the safe side and make sure to put down a more solid emotional groundwork.
Communicate well, positive reciprocity than negative feedback.